Cruising Central Maryland
This is the Double T Diner. The owners are Greek. It is open 24 hours, so you can go here whenever you want. The one in Catonsville is best because it still has a smoking section. There is better people watching in the smoking section. The waitresses call you “Hon.”
This is the Ottobar. This is where the best shows are. It is in Downtown Baltimore. After concerts, you can go around the block to the Paper Moon Diner. It is also open 24 hours. You used to be able to smoke at the bar, but not anymore. There are toys and mannequins glued all over the walls. Hipsters go here. My best friend and I used to go every Saturday. She was in love with one of the cooks. We went to his house once.
This is the playground and Park-N-Ride by Long Gate Shopping Center and across from the Y. Kids come here and get drunk and do lots of hallucinogenic drugs.
This is Old Ellicott City. It’s supposed to be one of the most haunted towns in America. There was a huge flood here once a long time ago. It almost reached the bottom of the railroad overpass. Now it is a quaint shopping area with cafes. If you see Homeless Ed here, do not talk to him.
There used to be a couch in the woods on the edge of Old Ellicott City. Teenagers also came here to drink.
Hell House used to be on this big hill between Old Ellicott City and Catonsville. They tore it down recently though. There are still some spooky ruins. It was a seminary once and there are stories about priests killing nuns there. It’s supposed to be very haunted. Kids also go here to get drunk and have sex. There are lots of beer bottles.
Ed Norton is from Columbia, that’s where the nicer mall is. I worked at that mall. Sisqo is from Silver Spring, that’s just outside Washington D.C. My mother and her husband are moving there. Will Smith almost moved into the neighborhood next to my high school, it’s called the Preserves, and the houses there are enormous.
